Brown Women, Cosmic clarity, Lifestyle, Reflection, Self Help, Uncategorized

My Poverty Addiction

I have always had a love hate relationship with poverty. Growing up I lusted after luxuries that my family just couldnt afford. My mother would fill my head with visions of my rich future. She would tell me how rich and famous my art would make me one day. Many of her sweet words were spoken by candle light in a powerless house. She also taught me that unwavering gratitude for the present is how we make way for bigger blessings. So I clung to those words like a life raft.   Those that know me know that I live my Life in gratitude. That I use my gratitude to manifest my hearts desires. It came as a shock when upon meditating and self reflection I realized that my gratitude, although divine, was being used as a tool by my mind to keep me addicted to poverty.

Eventhough my childhood was traumatic in many ways, none of those obviously traumatic experiences were caused by our lack of funds. Au contaire, those were some of the most joyous times of my youth. Listening to my mother speak in near darkness. Getting sprayed down with the hose in the back yard because it was too hot in the house to cool down. Roasting a hotdog on the stove with a pencil shoved into it, only to smother it in packets of fastfood ketchup and wrap it in 99cent white sandwich bread (because you can be poor and still have fun). Washing my uniform in the tub and hanging it on the shower rod while listening to my mom sing along to old Haitian bands on a Saturday morning. My poverty was a joyous one. A poverty filled with love and hope. A poverty that never felt like it would last forever.

I was also raised in a spiritual home. I remember learning along the way that it’s easier for a camel to enter the eye of a needle than a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven. Heaven is where I desperately longed to be when I left this plane of existence. Then I would watch television and read the papers and I realized that I  was much happier than those that were financially well off. It seemed as though they were all secretly miserable or horribly ill. What kind of life was that to live?

Fast forward years later. I am 30 with 8 children. A happy marriage yet still live in poverty. Do I travel? Yes. Do I eat healthy? Yes. But I still live an impoverished lifestyle.

I might make 1000dollars this week and be dollar less come Sunday. I am basically debt free, but I always live paycheck to paycheck. My bills are always one step ahead of me. My hearts desires are often always one step away. I often have to move things around to take care of the necessary. I rarely can afford to do what I want when I want. Yet I live in constant gratitude for wherever I am in life. I am always in a constant state of expansion and growth.  That’s what brought me to this awareness of poverty addiction.

I equate poverty not only with my experience of joy, but also as a way to stay on the heaven list. These 2 subconscious thought patterns have kept me from manifesting the abundance my conscious mind claims it wants and needs.

Abundance is free for all willing to accept. I somewhere along the way decided to reject this form of abundance. To truly love yourself and others you must be willing to live in the vortex of abundance and likewise be willing to do the work necessary to align yourself with what you are worthy of. I understand that it is my responsibility to retrain my mind and cleanse/balance my energies. Recovery doesn’t happen overnight. It’s a process. But the first step is admitting you have a problem.

I pray all of you that are reading this, and find yourself in my words, partner with me on this journey to recovery. Comment with your experiences and allow Source to provide all the tools needed for healing.



, Parenting,, Lifestyle, Uncategorized

3 Ingredient Carpet Powder Recipe to Raise your Vibes

WTH does carpet powder have to do with spirituality?

Everything & Nothing I suppose.

My entire house is carpeted, save the kitchen and bathrooms. Even the laundry room is carpeted.When we first moved in I was so excited about that because I like to sit on the floor. I quickly realized that my carpet absorbed the smell of everything I cooked. I didn’t really like that. Carpets hold smells. The Good, the bad,and the “I cant figure out wth that smell is”.

Everything I smell makes me feel a type of way. Once, I walked into a room and it smelled like kindergarten. Oh how I loved Kindergarten. In a split moment I was transported to a place where bills didnt exist, a juice box was always available, and nap time was mandatory. Good times. Everything about me felt good.

Ive had many moments like that, and every time, I am completely grateful while thanking Source for every moment like that that hasn’t happened yet. Im always happy about smells that take me back to an awesome place or that help me be present in a state of joy. So I had to do something about this carpet…..

I used to buy store carpet powder, but after learning about the negative ingredients we were inhaling I decided to make my own. Something that would make us feel good every time we vacuumed.

When we found a scent we could agree on, I went to work.

Here is what I did:

  • Ingredients1.png
  • A Plate or bowl
  • Essential oils for fragrance
  • Salt
  • Baking Soda
  • Something to mix with like



  • Mix a 1 cup of you all dry ingredients in a plate or bowl2.png


  • Add 20 drops of essential oils3.png


  • Mix all ingredients until well blended4.png


  • Put the mix into a shaker 5.png

There will be plenty extra depending on the size of your shaker. As you can see, I repurposed a powdered garlic container.

We settled on Patchouli, but I’m sure you’ll find something you can really enjoy. May your vibes be lifted and your carpet fresh….

Love you guys

Share an unconventional way you raise your vibes in the comments

Don’t Forget: Like, Share & Subscribe


Brown Women, Lifestyle, Reflection, Uncategorized

Positively Brown (Part 1)

Being a woman comes with so many struggles. We are so heavily judged for every single decision we make: Parenting, Style, Career choice, Relationship choice, Sexual preferences, the list never ends. Being a Brown Woman just adds a little extra sting. The media tells me that as a black woman I’m angry, uneducated, have a baby daddy but no husband, should have a fat ass, and a weave. The memes tell me I’m ghetto. The songs tell me I should be out “chasing paper” but the church tells me I should sit my ass down somewhere and wait for God to find me a husband that can provide for me. I grew up watching  Uncle Luke and the 2 LiveCrew. Ass Shaking and Money Chasing.

To be honest, it hurt me. The world around me told me what a brown woman was, they showed my statistics, sang me songs, wrote me letters, and debated over the quality of my hair. It hurt me. I don’t have a big ass. I have a  Masters in Ministry.I’m not angry, I’m pretty happy. I have a lot of children, but all for the same man that I’ve been married to for 11 years. I don’t chase paper, I attract abundance by leaving my self open and loving and kind. I don’t need my husband to provide for me either, we share the same source of abundance. The world at one point made me feel that I had somehow failed at being a black woman because I didn’t fit the stereotype of what they portrayed me to be. It took me a while to realize that I wanted to live and breathe my Divine Authenticity daily. I didn’t need to be all those negative things they said I was.

It hurt me that most of the images that popped up on my social media feed depicting brown women were negative.

It hurt me that I had to forgive & recover from the psychological abuse inflicted by the media.

It hurt me that this is the world my 7 daughters are growing up in.

It hurt me that I wasn’t doing more to change it.

I always want to be a positive example to my daughters, and sisters, and friends. That being said, My friends and I don’t like that there are so many negative images of Black women floating around the internet, so….We are doing something about it. It might not seem like a big step, but its a step further than many have gone. I will be sharing positive Melanated pics all week on my Facebook, hope u share them. Melanin + Divine Femenine87sa=Cosmic Powerbrown beautyeve gene


I love you all, Be blessed.

Cosmic clarity, Reflection, Uncategorized

I Honor the Resurrection

Happy resurrection day! I believe (as of now, no telling what the future holds) that Robonni Yeshua ben Yosef died, resurrected, and ascended. I hold him to be the best example of divine love on earth to date. I believe he saves me from my false self by showing me how to discover my own #DivineAuthenticity. I believe anything he could do I can do and more.  I believe he was a spiritual revolutionary. I believe his ascension has been a guiding beacon of hope for me since I was 9. I believe that we are one. And when I cant call on my highest self I call on his. I believe that sin is the idea that we are seperate from the most high. I believe Rabonni Yeshua’s example proved to me that, faith that you are always one with source is what raises us to our highest potential. Gives us power to heal and be whole. Today I choose to celebrate Rabonni Yeshua aka Jesus Christ. In his honor everday my ego dies a little more and I  am reborn. img_mouseover3

Cosmic clarity, Lifestyle, Reflection, Self Help, Uncategorized

Finding Joy in Your Next 30 Years

Hint: Discover your Divine Authenticity

For the past 8 years my Facebook friends from high-school have been periodically mentioning that 30 was closing in on us. No one was saying it in a positive light either, although when their birthdays roll around they post things like “Thank God for letting me reach 30. I’m so blessed….Grown and Sexy..” on their social media pages. There is an unspoken fear associated with turning thirty. Why is that?birthday-1008396_960_720


 When I was 20 I had a lengthy list of things I wanted to have accomplished by the age of 30.

  • Be a world renown fashion designer
  •  Be happily married with 8 children (4 boys/4 girls)
  • Have traveled the world at least once
  • Have built my dream home
  • Eaten at the best restaurants in the world
  • Have an amazing group of female friends just like the hit BET show “Girlfriends”
  • Make tireless love to my husband every night without fail, in a variety of positions found online.

I’ll be 30 in November, so what have I accomplished off of my list?

  • Although I still design and sew I’m not a fashion designer by profession.
  • I am happily married.
  • We don’t have 8 children, but I am currently pregnant with #7. I have 6 daughters, definitely not the 4&4 we envisioned but at least the numbers are close.
  • I have yet to travel the world.
  • I haven’t had a home built yet.
  • I don’t eat out much
  • I do have an amazing group of female friends
  • My husband and I are often way too exhausted to make love every night.


I only accomplished 2 of my 8 life goals. That’s pathetic isn’t it? What the heck have I been doing this past decade? I actually dedicated these last 10 years to discovering my Divine Authenticity, the part of me that exists in and out of time. The very essence of me that has no identity, that just is. My perfection. That’s how I found happiness. Looking back on all my years what I realized was that there weren’t many things I wanted to accomplish, but so many things I wanted to discover. I’ve never been afraid of 30, or 40 or growing old, but I’ve always been afraid of leaving this plane of existence without having met my divine self.

For most of the people I know the case is similar. A long list of hopes and dreams, fears and worries, with nearly nothing to show for it when that 30th birthday rolls around. So whats the point? You’re 30, now what?

As humans we’re wired to always have a carrot dangling before us. We accomplish one goal only to create a new goal for ourselves. Will you ever have enough? Be enough? Experience true bliss or happiness? For most of you the answer is NO. You will spend the rest of your life seeking something outside of yourself to fulfill an inner lacking. Not because you are undeserving of joy, but because you’re looking for it in the wrong places and putting a time frame on it. If these goals of yours could actually make you happy you wouldn’t need to strive for anything more once those goals were accomplished.

So now that you’ve spent 30 years seeking happiness in material goods and titles ,and still haven’t found it what can you do with your next 30 years to ensure you don’t run into this same problem again?

Finding Happiness in Your Next 30 Years

  1. Commit to raising your vibration
  2. Take an inventory of everything in your life that makes you obviously unhappy, figure out why then get rid of it.
  3. Don’t judge your journey.the path to your authentic self is very different for everyone.
  4. Find your tribe. Surround yourself with people that make you feel like the best version of yourself.
  5. Be of service to others. Serving others builds our empathy, compassion and problem solving skills.
  6. Don’t try to fit in any box. You will quickly realize everyone around you is always ready to do that for you. (with or without your consent)(I had to learn this the hard way during my parenting journey. learn more about that here.)
  7. Always be open to all the different forms of love the multiverse, God, Source has to offer.
  8. Last, but most importantly learn how to love yourself. all the different versions of you without judgement.

The fact that you’ve been around 30 years is a blessing, be sure to make the best of all of your days. Don’t waste them chasing your tail.

Question Of the Week: What can you do today to make massive progress towards a blissful existence?



Self Help, Uncategorized

Birthing in America Sucks if you’re broke.

This is a great article.

Those that know me personally know that ushering new beings into the world is something very sacred to me. Not only spiritually but physically as well. After reading this article all I could do was sigh in sadness. Thank goodness the world is raising its vibrations, there is hope.

In my opinion birthing shouldn’t be something done in hospitals unless its an actual emergency. We need more midwives and doulas in our communities educating and assisting our women on healthy birthing and prenatal practices. Empowering mothers is unlikely when we encourage women to birth in a sterile unfamiliar environment , on their backs strapped to monitors with their legs wide open in front of a room full of strangers. We ask mothers to labor for hours only to have the baby carted away by strangers for testing and needles. There is nothing natural about birthing in America. Its a business. And those that cant afford the best care risk a higher mortality rate. All women should be educated on how to let their bodies do what they were built to do. That way weather you are ina birthing tub or on your couch you can have a sacred and safe birthing experience.  #Prowomen #ProMidwife #ProDoula


Reflection, Self Help

Forgiveness: Audio & Notes

Here’s an audio on ‪#‎Forgiveness‬ by me, Fay TheCosmicLove.
* Free yourself from the bondage of unforgiveness.
*Learn the steps I use to forgive and move past offenses.

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If it blessed you in anyway, please Share It


Here are some notes on the “Forgiveness” podcast:

A.Its a process

  • It takes time
  • It takes confrontation
  • It takes courage

B.There are 2 Extremes

  • Those too quick to forgive. you haven’t given yourself time. So quite often that forgiveness is just an empty word.
  • Those so stingy with their forgiveness, that they’ve tricked themselves into believing that withholding their forgiveness is somehow making the offender “pay”.

C. It’s not about the other person

  • You don’t need them to acknowledge their offense.
  • You spiritually and energetically called this into your own life, don’t relinquish your accountability or responsibility. if you do you just wasted a valuable learning opportunity.


  • Doesn’t mean let the offender repeat the same offense over and over again. Hold fast to your boundaries and command respect for them.
  • Is not an excuse to play the victim or the martyr.



How to forgive:

  1. Acknowledge: that you are actually offended, don’t sweep it under the rug.
  2. Scale it: between 1-10 how offended are you in comparison to past offenses?
  3. Observe it: What physical or emotional reactions occur when thinking of the offense?
  4. Decide: Most important: Do you want to forgive or not?
  • No: If you don’t want to forgive right now, that’s OK!!! Just expect this lesson to resurface in your life in the not so distant future.
  • Yes: If you decided you do want to forgive, here’s what to do….


5.I want to forgive

  • Take responsibility for having called this incident into your life
  • Show gratitude for the opportunity to grow and the wisdom to take advantage of the lesson at hand.
  • Evaluate your boundaries and make adjustments if needed
  • Understand that the same Cosmic energy that brought this lesson to you is the same energy that will seek justice on your behalf.
  • Act on it. Imagine your offender as clearly as you can in your mind. Tell them that you forgive them. Send them Cosmic love as well as wish them peace and joy.

Signs the process isn’t over:

  1. You feel the need to tell the person you’ve forgiven them , when the person didn’t ask for your forgiveness.
  2. The memory of the incident still provokes physical angst.

If your aren’t done healing: Repeat Step #5



Reflection, Self Help, Uncategorized

Why I Quit Motherhood

What an honorable box

What is motherhood really? After close inspection I’ve come to the realization that it’s a social construct, a box that now, I don’t too much care for. In every box there are guidelines and regulations. Levels of expertise and false symbols of status. In a box I find myself constantly comparing myself to other box dwellers. How do I stack up against them? Where am I in ranking? Am I a sucky mom? If I am a sucky mom, how can I get to the top? How can I be the best mom? Or at least in the running? I know! I’ll read every parenting book & watch every parenting video I can get my hands on! Wait, I’ve done that. I’ve spent hundreds of hours researching, reading, listening, viewing and applying it the best I could. Unfortunately the best I could do only left me at the average mark  in the mommy box (and I’m really reaching here). What I did realize was that there were only a few must haves or rather must dos that every piece of literature had as its back bone.

1.keep your child fed

2.keep your child relatively clean

3.teach your child how to take care of themselves

4.tell them that you love them


These 4 parenting staples only made up 5% of all the information I’ve gathered over the years. The rest was 95% perspective. That’s why I could never get past average! Honestly some days I was so consumed with the facts that I would never teach the top of the box that I would forget to execute the fundamentals, how pathetic was that? I let the box and all its perversions of love eclipse the love I had for my kids. The yelling, screaming, crying, praying, ignoring, eye rolling, and utter frustration I would feel was nothing short of soul crushing. And that was all before noon.Not because my kids were spawns of Satan sent to destroy my life, but because I lived and breathed the box.

Today while watching yet another parenting video, I realized I hate the box and every horrible limitation it represents on my parenting journey. I don’t know how far my love will go or what it will look like, but I know I am more than the sea of perspectives. I am a spirit using a human body to usher in a generation of cosmic love. My children are tools for my self mastery, and vessels of infinite possibility.I am the divine feminine balancing the divine masculine. I don’t need any man made construct standing in the way of my authentic self. And you don’t either.


So that being said, what boxes are you in? Do you even want to be there? As always I encourage you to seek your authentic self. 

To my future I say “Hello Freedom”




I talk about everything here,

Family stuff, Single people stuff, Married people stuff

But really I talk about how to live a more spiritually fulfilling life while on this journey to divine self discovery. You are more than welcomed to join me on my path I’m sure we have much to offer each other.

The Source and I are rooting for your expansion

Cosmic clarity, Reflection, Self Help

To take offense or not to take offense? That is the question.

Wow that’s an interesting outfit. ..


Oh you’re vegan, so you just eat leaves right?


Wow, are all these  kids yours?


Some people are asses lol, and others are just….clueless.  

On our journey to relinquishing the ego we become more aware of how offended we are by the actions or words of others, as well as our words and actions towards others. Sometimes people  say or do things that leave us dumbfounded at their level of disrespect or inconsideration.

   It’s really hard not to be offended, ever. So how do you differentiate between that which is truly meant to be offensive, and that which just came out wrong but was meant without malice?

1.You are one perspective

Everyone doesn’t see the world the way you do. When we are offended by someone’s words or actions it is usually because we feel they should have had a different reaction. That person treated us in a way that we feel is BAD or WRONG. That’s how YOU see it, obviously that’s not how they see it. If you feel that your view is right, you are already wrong lol. It’s either you are flowing towards the Source or away from. There is nothing else. So by judging someone’s action as offensive is counter productive to you.

Try saying to yourself “that’s an interesting perspective that i choose but to  entertain” . Getting in the habit of removing energy that might try to bind you to that perceived negativity is a big favor you can do yourself.

2.Gauge that individual’s personality

Sometimes the people who say these things are our loved ones. If this unwanted behavior is commonplace on their personality, don’t be surprised  when they say or do something that you don’t like. Choose to avoid it, out not engage. At least until you can find your inner peace. If this is unlike that person then this is an awesome opportunity for you to demonstrate compassion. Try to find out why they said that or did that. Inquisitively, not to pass judgement,or point the finger. Sometimes when people actually hear the stupid stuff they say they are offended by their own words and change for the better. Also it makes  for a great energy practice session. Send your loved one some positive vibes with pure intentions. They might need some healing in the moment.

3.Look at yourself! Hypocrite.

How many times have your intentionally or unintentionally offended someone?  Everyone doesn’t run and tell you when you’ve said something hurtful, or stupid. and look at you here, trading this blog trying to be a better version of yourself. Bring to the forefront of your mind everyone you thought you might have offended someone, now forgive yourself. That feels good right. New forgive everyone that has ever and will ever offend you.

We never really know the intent behind someone’s words or actions fully because we can’t borrow their minds,we haven’t lived their lives. All we can do is choose to flow towards Source in love and forgive people. Once you operate in mercy and exercise your forgiveness you start to see that you are rarely offended.

let it go no offense

he Source and I love you and are rooting for your expansion